My Once Upon a Time...

Well, here we are again. Another month has come and gone, another negative pregnancy test.  Waiting for the infamous second line on that damn test doesn't become any easier. I even went this far and pulled the whole thing apart, because I was convinced that the second line must be hidden somewhere underneath. It wasn't. The control line just kept staring at me, laughing in my face like it was saying: You will never see two lines on me! It made me feel better to slam that sucker in the trash. And even though I got a negative, my doctor insisted that I go ahead and get a blood pregnancy test the next morning. There's nothing better than getting up early on your first day off in two weeks to go to the lab to get a pregnancy test that you know will be negative. It felt like a cruel joke to me and I completely lost it when I walked out of that room, even though I had told myself that I won't be crying this time around. It was not a pretty sight. I felt like the last ...

I did it! I survived my 60 days of hell ! Well, kind of. I’m not completely done yet, but we’ve completed a huge step in the right direction. Six weeks after starting the protocol, I had to go in for another blood draw to see if my levels improved. It took over a week to get the results back and I was a nervous wreck during this time.  I was so worried that it might not have worked, that the last weeks were all for nothing. These last two months really were tough. Dragging my tired body to the gym every day, even during our cruise. Saying no to all kinds of delicious temptations. Eating well during the cruise was the hardest. The first morning I went up to the deck for breakfast, I felt like crying when I saw all of the food I desperately wanted to eat, but all I could have was 16 slices of bacon and 4 turkey sausages. And yes, I really did eat all of this, every morning. At night, when we had dinner, everyone ordered desserts, and I was stuck with a damn cheese plate. After...

2012. Even though this last year has not exactly delivered what I had hoped for, I’m grateful for the experiences I had, grateful for the things I’ve learned, grateful for our health, jobs, families and opportunities. I just re-read my post from last year , where I wrote about all of the resolutions I should have for 2012, but which I wasn’t planning on achieving: “Quit drinking diet coke. I’m the Diet Coke Queen and I drink way too much of that stuff and by way too much, I mean I drink so much of it, that I don’t sleep more than 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep at night! It’s bad. I’m totally addicted to it and I have absolutely no intentions to quit. I'm weak. Katie challenged me one time, to only drink one can a day – couldn’t do it. So my resolutions could be to drink less DC, but who am I kidding? I won’t, so no reason to make up a silly resolution I don’t intend to keep anyway. Maybe I should try caffeine free DC? Maybe. Or how about the standard resolution of w...