Finn's First Birthday

I really struggled with this one. When Fox turned one, we had a huge birthday party for him. While I would've liked the same for Finn, he didn't have baby friends like Fox did and with everything going on this year, I also didn't feel like throwing a party. I felt guilty over it for months leading up to the day. I kind of tried to justify it, thinking that we would go to Disneyland and the beach the week before his birthday, so that would be his birthday party.

It's been two months since he turned one and honestly, I don't even remember what we did that day. Insert Mom Guilt here.

Katie decided to have a little birthday celebration for him at her house a week later and invited me. It turned out that me and one set of grandparents were the only people in attendance. 

I didn't want to miss his "party" and seeing him eat his cake, but I was really struggling with my feelings of being in that house. It just didn't feel right and made me sad. But I put on my brave face and celebrated that little boy that had saved my life in the last year.

Grandma Sandie made him his own special cake.

I don't know what he was thinking about this.

Fox wouldn't even touch his first birthday cake, but he tried it at least.

And then he dug in.

And here we are, he is one. And I'm so grateful for having this sweet boy in my life.

I made some collages of his first year pictures and I can't believe how fast this year went, despite everything I went through. I wish I could keep him little, but you already know that. 

Happy First Birthday Finn! I love you more than you'll ever know!