This is a very personal post to me, but I wanted to share about our amazing journey and the family members we have gained along the way.
Fox has nine half siblings. Well, he probably has more than that, but we know of nine. We call them “diblings” (donor siblings), I’m not sure where the word came from, but I believe one of the other moms in the group came up with it. There are nine boys (including Fox) and one girl…which pretty much defeats all my hope for a future daughter…haha.
But let me start from the beginning.
After finding out that we were pregnant, more than 2.5 years ago, we registered on the “Sibling Registry” of our Cryobank. After they made sure that we had used this donor, they gave us access to the database of other families who had used the same donor as us, or at least the families who were interested in having contact with other families. Many people do not feel comfortable with having this connection, so when we registered there were only two other families listed.
I emailed them both and introduced myself and after a few emails back and forth, we connected through Facebook, where we were not only able to learn more about them and keep up with them, but also see pictures of the two children that would be Fox’s half siblings. I remember studying their sweet little faces for hours, wondering if Fox would resemble them. They were just a few weeks old when we saw them (via Facebook) for the first time and it was such a blessing to see them grow through the coming nine months.
Fox was born and low and behold, he looked just like his half brother when he was a baby. The older he got, the more he started to look like his half sister, to the point where I sent a picture of her at the same age to my mom (who had just visited from Germany to meet Fox) and she thought it was him. It was crazy how much they looked alike.
We loved seeing their resemblance and we loved our relationship with the other families even more. We exchanged cards and presents and stories about the kids.
It wasn’t until late last fall, when I randomly checked the registry again (which I had done regularly before) and there were more families listed, some who only left the date of birth and gender of the half siblings, but four that had left email addresses.
While we are now all Facebook friends, we also established a “secret” Facebook group, since not all of the families are open to post pictures of their kids on Facebook and sometimes we get questions, like: “Hey, I think my son has allergies, do your kids have any?”
It has been amazing to get to know all of these kids and their parents and we consider them family, I know many of the other families consider us family too.
We feel that it’s really important for Fox to get to know these children when he is older, we are raising him to know these kids (he knows some of their names because we talk about them and have pictures on our fridge) and will never hide the fact that they are half siblings (I know other families in the same situation that refer to half siblings as cousins).
So a couple of months ago, when we went to San Diego, we had the amazing opportunity to meet on of the other families, since they live there. We met up at a park before we drove back to Phoenix and it was the most surreal experience of my life. It’s hard to describe, but you see this child that you only know from pictures and you just know you love him and that he’s family. It was crazy and simply incredible!
The boys are nine months apart and don’t look alike at all, but seeing them together was awesome. They had so much fun playing together! As much as I wish that I could share pictures of their meeting, the other mom is not comfortable with it, so I will respect her privacy.
There is another sweet baby boy on the way and Katie and I will meet his moms when we travel to Chicago for a concert in June.