The last week has been a whirlwind. On one hand I can't believe it's already been a week since the birth, on the other it feels like so much longer. My memories are starting to blur, but I really want to remember every little detail of Fox's birth.
I went to bed on Tuesday, May 13th around 10pm. Something didn't feel quite right and Fox was moving like crazy inside of me. I couldn't sleep and around 10:20pm, I felt a trickle down my leg. I knew immediately that my water was about to break and that the trickle was going to be followed by a big gush of fluid, so I jumped out of bed, ran to the toilet and yelled for Katie.
I made it just in time and immediately started shaking afterwards. This was it. We were going to meet our son. Life would never be the same again.
Katie left a message for our doctor while I jumped into the Shower. I felt surprisingly calm inside, even though my body was still shaking, going through the motions to get ready while instructing Katie on what last minute items to pack for the hospital.
Our doctor called back a few minutes later and told us to take a good nap and then head to the hospital in 2-3 hours. Obviously, neither of us thought a nap would be a good idea, so we continued to get ready and just hung out. I wasn't in any pain, but I knew contractions could start at any time, so I really wanted to be ready for when it happened.
We left for the hospital at 1am and got there around 1:20am. When the triage nurse checked me, I was only 1cm dilated, but since my water had broken, there was no option of returning home.
They hooked me up on a monitor to check on the baby's heartbeat, placed an IV and drew my blood for our cordblood kit.
At 2:30am, nothing had changed, so they asked me if I wanted to induce labor, which I declined. I had heard terrible stories about the drug they use to induce labor and how a lot of the births end up in a c-section, and I really wanted my body to do this by itself.
I had the feeling that the nurse disagreed with my choice, but I stood my ground and opted for walking the halls for an hour to see if that would bring any change. So we walked.
When we returned at 3:30am, nothing had changed and I still didn't feel any pain, but I was exhausted already and knew we would have a long night ahead. We had to start the pitocin and waited some more. At this point, we were still in the triage room and I was super umcomfortable and just wanted to be brought into our labor and delivery room. I don't know what took them so long, but we weren't able to change rooms until around 6am.
Our families started to trickle in, some of them had been there for hours already. I wasn't in too much pain, but my body was tired and I was uncomfortable. We asked them to leave after an hour or so, because contractions were really picking up and we wanted to try to sleep for a little bit before it would be impossible.
We ended up not sleeping after all, because the pain started to become very intense and after a few hours of this, I caved in and asked for the epidural. I had planned to get one all along, but I felt like I was asking for it too early and my doctor had told me I couldn't get it until I was 4cm dilated. The nurse reassured me that I could get it at any point and if the doctor didn't have a vagina, then he had no say in the timing of an epidural. Ha!
Looking back, getting the epidural was the worst part of it all. The anesthesiologist had to try twice to get it in, it hurt like crazy and I jolted in pain a couple of times, which resulted in getting yelled at by the doctor and nurse. Katie was really encouraging, holding me and coaching me through the pain.
We slept for a couple of hours afterwards and I felt great. Things started to really blur in my mind afterwards and I wish I could remember more. Our families came back at some point in the afternoon to hang out with us. I was pretty out of it, even though I was awake.
My pitocin levels were raised every half an hour and I started to dilate more, but it was a very slow process. I think I was dilated to a 4 at 4pm and a 7 at 7pm. I was exhausted and starving, but wasn't allowed to eat anything and couldn't sleep.
When I was thinking about labor in the past, I had always imagined us watching "Friends" on TV, chatting with family, reading and that it was just going to be a grand time. What was I thinking? It turned out that I wasn't up for anything, I just wanted to lay there. I started feeling back pain in the afternoon and was hurting again. The nurses assured me that this was normal and I was supposed to feel pain, even though I had the epidural. Katie and Katie's mom took turns rubbing my back. I threw up a couple of times as well.
I don't know at what point everyone left or if they got kicked out, but around 8:30pm I was told that I was almost there and that we would start to push soon.
I was terrified and started shaking again, I kept saying over and over to Katie that I was afraid.
She was so great this entire day. Holding my hand, telling me how good I was doing, cheering me on, encouraging me. Even the nurses commented that she was an awesome labor coach!
We started pushing at 9pm and to my relief, it was a breeze compared to everything else.
At 10pm, our doctor came in and said that Fox wasn't progressing as he should and seemed stuck, he said we could try for another hour but I should get prepared that this will end in a c-section.
Again, I didn't want a c-section and I wanted to make sure that I had done everything I could before it came to this, so I pushed for another hour before they told me there was no way he was going to be delivered vaginally.
I don't remember much after. I was scared and pretty much out of it. I don't know if it was because of the drugs, the exhaustion or simply because I was so anxious.
When we got to the OR, everything happened fast. One moment I was laying there, the next they told me it would be any minute now. Katie was by my side and just as anxious as I was. I was SO tired, I literally couldn't keep my eyes open.
When they pulled him out and showed him to Katie over the curtain, she started crying hysterically. It was so sweet. They whisked him away before I got to see him to clean him up and check him. Katie went with them and I could only catch glimpses every now and then, but she gave me two thumps up and told me he was really cute.
After the delivery, I started shaking uncontrollably and just felt really terrible. They said it was normal, but I couldn't even keep my arms still, I was shaking so bad. We were wheeled into the recovery room and I was still feeling miserable for another hour or two. I felt like a really bad mom because I wasn't able to be with Fox or care for him like I wanted to, but I'm so glad Katie was there to bond with him and love on him!
When I was finally able to meet our baby boy, it was everything I imagined and more. He was just perfect and we love him to pieces!