I scheduled and paid for this photo shoot way before we decided to take family Halloween pictures, otherwise I wouldn't have scheduled this one.
Same costume, different photographer.
Such a cute police officer!
October 31, 2017
October 28, 2017
Cop & Robbers
This was the first year that Fox really had an opinion about what he wanted to be for Halloween. Although, said opinion changed quite frequently from the time we first asked him in August to when we actually bought his costume.
He went from wanting to be a storm trooper to an astronaut, from superhero to witch...until we had to break the news that his broom won't actually fly, so that was a deal breaker for him (I was so excited that we could be the Sanderson sisters...ha!). Eventually, he told us he wanted to be a police officer and when he didn't change his mind for several weeks, we pulled the trigger and went costume shopping. He chose "bad guy costumes" for Katie and I and while I didn't care what we were going to be, I was happy that once again, we managed to have a family costume theme.
I asked my favorite photographer if she had 15 minutes to snap some quick pictures of us and she came up with this elaborate story line that we had to act out when we met up for the photo shoot. That's why I love her.
Just like last year, we sent out some Halloween Cards to our family and friends, this was the front of the card...and down below, the backside.
Here are the pictures we got back from her...only a few hours after the shoot (another reason why I love her!).
Katie and I ended up getting our "costumes" off amazon, since they were much cheaper there because they weren't really costumes, plus, I do love striped shirts, so I know I will wear this shirt for years to come.
Fox was totally into this. He took his job very seriously and you could tell how proud he was to be a police officer.
Spotting the "bad guys"
The Chase...
Oh no, he got us!
This was, by far, his favorite part...arresting his mommies!
Pure concentration!
Katie hates taking Family pictures, but she loved these. So do I. They were so easy and fast and I love how they turned out.
We always frame one picture of our Halloween costumes as part of our Halloween decorations for the house and I can't believe we already have four years worth of Halloweens up!
I'm going to be so sad when the day comes, that our kids refuse to do a family theme, but luckily, today is not that day!
October 24, 2017
Another day, another negative pregnancy test
My heart is heavy today, after staring at negative pregnancy tests for the last three days. Just waiting for that second line to show up, but it never does. I haven't taken a home pregnancy test in over four years, but when I did, all the feelings came rushing back from a time in my life that almost broke me. I've seen so many of these tests and it always happens the same way. I stare at them, I hold them up to the light, trying to make out a second line that isn't there, throw them in the trash, just to take them out of the trash again an hour later to check again.
My blood draw isn't until tomorrow, but I have no doubt in my mind that the results will be the same.
During our last cycle in February, I didn't test at home, but hearing the bad news from that rude nurse was so hard on me, that I decided I had to get the answers on my own terms and in my own time. Now all I want to do is move on, but they won't let me do that until the blood test. Which means, I'm still taking four different, expensive medications three times a day that prevent me from having my period, which is required to get on another schedule.
This cycle was long and it was so much different than what I have done before. It started back in July and looking back it felt like a cluster f***. Ovulation tests, shots, pills, patches, more pills, lozenges, vaginal inserts, more pills. I don't know what they had going on there, but I just went along for the ride and trusted that they knew what they were doing. The meds made me tired and dizzy, which was much better than the last round of side effects, but still not pleasant.
I even changed my lifestyle three months ago in order to prepare my body for the best possible outcome. I, the queen of carbs and sugar, started eating healthy and I have been on a strict eating and workout plan every single day for three months. I lost 11lbs and felt better than I have in years, which is great, because I ate crap my entire life and definitely something I will continue to do.
After my last transfer was cancelled because of low estrogen levels, they had told me that I had to wait like six weeks until we could try again. I was shocked when I got my new schedule and it was only three weeks later.
My second embryo transfer took place on October 16th. At this point, all the excitement that comes with it the first time you do this is gone, but deep down you still hope that this is it and you will never have to see the transfer room again. My mother in law came with me because I needed a driver and Katie was unavailable because we had a Show that week and my mother in law thought it was so special and amazing.
Even the doctor was a little more pleasant than usual, which was probably due to the fact that my mother in law is a chatty Kathy and he had no other choice. Either way, it was nice to see a little bit of a different side of him.
We transferred another AB embryo, saw him going into the uterus and then I laid down in the recovery room for another hour, while we watched Harry Potter on their TV.
Bed Rest was glorious as usual and I guess the silver lining of every negative pregnancy test is, that I will get another day of bedrest in the future, however, this is a very expensive day of rest. At this point, we have drained our "baby making fund", but I guess you have to do what you got to do, which in our case means dipping into my emergency fund. This sucks, but whatever. It took $50,000 to get pregnant with Fox...ouch!
I have so many questions for the doctor and I already emailed them to my nurse, but knowing this clinic, they would want us to come in for a stupid 10 minute consultation so they can charge us $200 to get some vague answers.
I overthink everything, so now I'm wondering about genetic testing again, wondering what went wrong, wondering if my body is getting too old for pregnancy, wondering where to go from here.
Wondering if we will do a different protocol, if this was just bad luck and how long we will try until something new will be suggested.
I know I will never know why this try (and the last one) didn't work. If it was an abnormal embryo, if it was my body, if it was something I did or didn't do...I will never know. What I do know is, that everything happens for a reason and this embryo wasn't supposed to be our baby. It wasn't our time yet. One day, it will all make sense.
What's left is a feeling of sadness for those little embryos that didn't make it. If you have never done IVF, then this will probably sound stupid to you, but if you did, you know what I mean. These embryos, all 14 of them, were my children, and even though I'm not biologically related to them, I feel like they are a part of me. Every time I pass by the fertility clinic, I smile, knowing that somewhere in there are our babies, frozen in time. Fox's twins.
One day, they will pick the right one, the one that's meant to be, the one that's stubborn enough to hang on and become part of our crazy family.
I hope this day comes soon, but if not, I know I'm strong enough to go through this again. One day we will have another baby, one way or another.
My blood draw isn't until tomorrow, but I have no doubt in my mind that the results will be the same.
During our last cycle in February, I didn't test at home, but hearing the bad news from that rude nurse was so hard on me, that I decided I had to get the answers on my own terms and in my own time. Now all I want to do is move on, but they won't let me do that until the blood test. Which means, I'm still taking four different, expensive medications three times a day that prevent me from having my period, which is required to get on another schedule.
This cycle was long and it was so much different than what I have done before. It started back in July and looking back it felt like a cluster f***. Ovulation tests, shots, pills, patches, more pills, lozenges, vaginal inserts, more pills. I don't know what they had going on there, but I just went along for the ride and trusted that they knew what they were doing. The meds made me tired and dizzy, which was much better than the last round of side effects, but still not pleasant.
I even changed my lifestyle three months ago in order to prepare my body for the best possible outcome. I, the queen of carbs and sugar, started eating healthy and I have been on a strict eating and workout plan every single day for three months. I lost 11lbs and felt better than I have in years, which is great, because I ate crap my entire life and definitely something I will continue to do.
After my last transfer was cancelled because of low estrogen levels, they had told me that I had to wait like six weeks until we could try again. I was shocked when I got my new schedule and it was only three weeks later.
My second embryo transfer took place on October 16th. At this point, all the excitement that comes with it the first time you do this is gone, but deep down you still hope that this is it and you will never have to see the transfer room again. My mother in law came with me because I needed a driver and Katie was unavailable because we had a Show that week and my mother in law thought it was so special and amazing.
Even the doctor was a little more pleasant than usual, which was probably due to the fact that my mother in law is a chatty Kathy and he had no other choice. Either way, it was nice to see a little bit of a different side of him.
We transferred another AB embryo, saw him going into the uterus and then I laid down in the recovery room for another hour, while we watched Harry Potter on their TV.
Bed Rest was glorious as usual and I guess the silver lining of every negative pregnancy test is, that I will get another day of bedrest in the future, however, this is a very expensive day of rest. At this point, we have drained our "baby making fund", but I guess you have to do what you got to do, which in our case means dipping into my emergency fund. This sucks, but whatever. It took $50,000 to get pregnant with Fox...ouch!
I have so many questions for the doctor and I already emailed them to my nurse, but knowing this clinic, they would want us to come in for a stupid 10 minute consultation so they can charge us $200 to get some vague answers.
I overthink everything, so now I'm wondering about genetic testing again, wondering what went wrong, wondering if my body is getting too old for pregnancy, wondering where to go from here.
Wondering if we will do a different protocol, if this was just bad luck and how long we will try until something new will be suggested.
I know I will never know why this try (and the last one) didn't work. If it was an abnormal embryo, if it was my body, if it was something I did or didn't do...I will never know. What I do know is, that everything happens for a reason and this embryo wasn't supposed to be our baby. It wasn't our time yet. One day, it will all make sense.
What's left is a feeling of sadness for those little embryos that didn't make it. If you have never done IVF, then this will probably sound stupid to you, but if you did, you know what I mean. These embryos, all 14 of them, were my children, and even though I'm not biologically related to them, I feel like they are a part of me. Every time I pass by the fertility clinic, I smile, knowing that somewhere in there are our babies, frozen in time. Fox's twins.
One day, they will pick the right one, the one that's meant to be, the one that's stubborn enough to hang on and become part of our crazy family.
I hope this day comes soon, but if not, I know I'm strong enough to go through this again. One day we will have another baby, one way or another.
October 23, 2017
Two little pumpkins sitting in a patch...
Another beautiful (and hot) day at the Pumpkin Patch, this time with one of our best friends.
These boys met when they were only a few weeks old and it has been so fun watching them play together over the last three years.
He just loves to play and always asks me to schedule play dates and Jake is definitely one of his favorites!
We went last year together as well, look how much these two have grown since!
They were trying to splash Kristy with water and chased after her. They both laughed so hard!
This pumpkin patch always has the biggest pumpkins I have ever seen.
He was cracking up, because Kristy kept calling him "Farmer Fox" and apparently it was the funniest thing he has ever heard!
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Dirty kids, scraped knees and so many smiles!
Last year they didn't know what to do in the giant hay maze, but this year was a blast. It was awesome, because we could watch them from the sidelines, while they were running like crazy people and playing hide and seek and tag in there.
They were both excited for the Hay Ride to the Pumpkin Patch!
This picture melts my heart!
Just like last year, we rode the train back to the farm.
We could've stayed there for many more hours, but they were closing and it was time to go. No one was ready to go, but if everyone stays healthy (knock on wood) we have plans to visit another pumpkin patch up north at the end of the month together!
It was the perfect day and I loved every minute of it!
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